XO

So yesterday I was driving to a rendition of Beyonce’s XO by a guy on the TV show The Voice. This song was definitely one of my favorite songs on the album, it really just always makes me feel relaxed and happy on the inside. It wasn’t a song that made me feel like I connected to anyone or anything specific jut an internal version of calm. Until Today.
Today, I count myself blessed for God to have allowed me to stay on this planet an additional 15 years than what anyone thought would be possible. This was only made possible from the loving Gift of Transplant that was given by a family that let their love show even in a dark time.
This young man who made my life possible was 20 years old and his wishes to be an organ donor was granted by his family. I used to always wonder who he would become. I spent many years focusing on the loss of this life, focusing on believing I had to make up for my own and his. In status, and accomplishment, in things that only could be seen tangibly. For his life to be relevant through myself. Oftentimes feeling as if I had failed us both.
I am slowly taking time to shift this thinking though. I wonder now who he was. How many people loved him, was he in love? How did he love others and if I can shine brightly enough for us both. Was his heart intent positive toward people, did he like to take care of others. Did he have hobbies, passion and drive, things that made him happy. THESE things, these thoughts are what I choose now to instill within myself in order to honor his memory.
So for his family and mine, In, my own rendition of this song.
In the Darkest Night Hour.
We Searched through the crowd.
Our faces were all that you saw, give us everything
Baby Love me Lights out. You can turn my lights out.
The permission of darkness was designed in order to give me life and light. I will love enough for us both. I will serve enough for us both. I will love you All, I will speak life and light. I will inspire and grow. For maybe, just maybe I was honored to stay here in order to Light a bonfire of flame of happiness and encouragement. A flame that only two fires touching could ignite.….. XOXO

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About lifelovenrandomness

My Journey, and the Multiple Random things that make up my life. Enjoy
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