“Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.”
I have a dog. He is about 19 pounds of awesomeness named Major. I adopted him when he was about 2 and a half. and have had him equal amount of that time. He treats me how I treat many people in my life. Loyal….to a fault. When I am tired and I dont want to play three days in a row. When it takes a lot of of me to give him his petting/cuddle time. When I feel like on one day he gets into everything and theres fussing or 5 min of silent treatment. He still walks up whenever I am around. Puts his puppy looking face into my lap and looks at me with the most earnest eyes that I cant help but cave in.
We get each other. We love to be loved, and love in return. We like what we like. We do weird things and dont judge each other.
But he is my Dog, and I am his Master.
Loyalty is something that is Decidedly Deanna, but with time I am learning that it is a precious thing to give. I tend to have the belief that people generally mean you well, (Jaded, I know), and that comes to bite me many times. I am the helper and the do gooder usually to my own demise. Ive gone through periods where people thought I wanted something from them in exchange for being kind. Men and Women alike. Ive gone though periods where Ive expected basic courtesy (thanks anyone?) for being kind and have been met with silence. There was one point and time that I wanted to shut down from who i was and not bestow loyalty or kindness on anyone, and I had a good friend tell me the following….”Don’t you see who you were meant to be? You were called to serve, its your calling and your duty in life. Don’t let other people deter you from being who you are”
So amid this knowledge came another dilemma. How do I balance who I am and preserve myself from being taken advantage of whether intentionally or not? Its a thin line I have yet to master.
While there are times to serve. There are times I must serve myself as well. Well being, rest, and not feeling as if I have to explain why I cannot be the 120% version of Deanna.
I will never, however, be ashamed that my preference, my drive, my nature, is to put others First.
My name is Deanna Amarica…And I am Loyal. To a fault. and damn proud of it.