Hi, My name is Deanna, I am 30 years old and I just had….wait for it….A Breast Reduction. I will now allow a 30 second ceremonial pause for all comments to run through your head.
As a young preteen girl, you never wanted to be the girl with NO BOOBS. I mean, what fun is that? You want to look grown up and grown up means boobs! I remember being about 13 years old and my dad came back from Dominica with some clothes and such that my aunts had bought for me and enclosed was a 36C bra, which my mother was convinced was way too large for me. It fit perfectly. His sisters being well endowed probably knew exactly what to get a burgeoning teenager. My mother, however, in her standard B cup was a little amazed.
I was happy with that C, It seemed a bit larger than average but not too much, until my senior year of high school my best friend Amber was convinced that I did NOT wear the right bra size. She was working in the lingerie department of JCPenny and forced me to come in for a fitting. She was right. It was time for an upgrade to a 36D. I felt like I could deal with at least that and was more than comfortable, and THEN the jokes began. D is for Deanna! I had the first guy ever ask me if he could see them. Which in my private school uniform I promptly laughed and walked away leaving him in the middle of the sidewalk. Dude I am wearing cornrows (it was a phase sorry) and a khaki overall jumper…….Yea. No.
By the time I was 21 I was a DD cup, everyone always said if I lost weight then they would go down, but no matter how my weight fluctuated my breasts decided they were on their own upward spiral contrary to whatever the rest of my body was doing. Seeing that my nickname growing up was Dee Dee, Double D jokes fit right into that. I decided, that was it. They would not grow anymore even if I had to will them. After going out at night in my beloved halter tops and having neck pain the entire next day after a while I had to let a few of my favorite articles of clothing go. I could never find the right strapless or halter bra to actual make me look like a cute mid-twenties other than a rachet hoochie mamma. I gave clothes away. I only wore strapless with a regular bra and with a jacket to cover it up. I decided and gave it to this being my normal existence.
Around the age of 27, my Walmart Bra’s did not seem to be doing the trick anymore. Once again a friend of mine drug me in to Soma and made me get re-measured. I was told that I was a solid DDD cup. I sat on the floor immediately, in Soma, for about a solid 5 minutes. I didn’t care who told me to get up. I sat there, for 5 minutes and realized there were more things in my life to relinquish. The slow but steady grooves being ground into my shoulders, the tension headaches, the back pain, the 50 dollar bras this was just all my new existence. It’s just who I had to be. Shortly after I got sick and dropped a whopping 30 pounds but my cup size didn’t budge. I decided something needed to be done.
A girl at work had a breast reduction and I talked to her about her experience. She highly recommended her surgeon and I went in for a consultation in 2011. I was told I was a great candidate and I should see it through. I was having severe knee issues at the same time though and I wanted to get to the bottom of that before scheduling additional surgery especially since I had been so sick the months prior. Then life happened. I got busy, I gained the weight back and moved to Atlanta.
This year I was on the phone with my mom and browsing through Lane Bryant which was my last straw and hope for any type of decent undergarments and got re measured again. F cup. I didn’t know it existed, I really wanted to use that letter in an explicative of sorts but I regained my sanity. My mom made a joke. All in good nature and for the first time I realized. This just isn’t funny anymore. It isn’t cute, it hurts. It dictates my life, and I didn’t want something I have control over to tell me how much money to spend, how often I need to go readjust during the day, and how much pain I have to be in. I made another appointment in Atlanta with Dr. Allison Maske, and she explained me to how this could help me, and how the make-up of my breasts could potentially cause issues. I have to also say around this time I started having shoulder issues and realized the weight over the years had completely altered my shoulder muscles into a perpetual state of tightness so I even had to attend physical therapy for the weeks leading up to my surgery.
I had my surgery on August 27th, and immediately after in recovery I realized how much less pressure was on my back. I was thrilled. I have been trying to retrain myself to relax my shoulders as I didn’t even realize how much I kept them in a scrunched up mode just to cope. I am still recovering, Still sore and swollen, in pain and everything else that comes with surgery, but I am also content and happy.
So ladies the next time you think about jumping up or wishing you had what someone else had. Have a real conversation with them. Your body may not be made to effectively even carry additional weight, and yes it’s all just weight. Guys stop making women feel like the size of their breasts is directly related to their attractiveness. I had to mentally realize that, that attention would be lost and I am so fine with it. I can’t wait to get back into higher impact exercising and am even planning on running a 5K now. I can’t wait to see what my new life has in store for me.
PS, you can believe there will be another blog to come about this!